Never Enough

It's been two weeks since I've written. I've been incredibly stressed and overwhelmed, and I'm one of those people that completely shuts down when that happens. The only thing I can do is nothing. I'm still not back to normal, but when I created this blog my goal was to write everyday.

My family and I just returned from a trip home to Alabama, and the theme of that trip for me was "never enough". There's just never enough time. I felt the whole trip that I just did not have enough time to do all that I wanted to do or see everyone I wanted to see. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my father, and I just didn't have enough. I thought that a week would be plenty of time, but it ran out so fast! It just wasn't long enough. I didn't have enough time with my mother, and I didn't have enough time with my friends. Now that I'm home, however, I haven't had enough time to recover! All the running around and making sure my children stayed on schedule as much as possible completely wore me out, as well as the incredible stress of traveling and dealing with the kids sleeping in beds and rooms that weren't their own. I took Monday off of work to try and recuperate, but it wasn't enough! I think I need another week! I'm looking around my house and can feel my anxiety and stress grow...suitcases to unpack, laundry to finish, cleaning to do, flowers to water, toys to pick up, clothes to put away...the list goes on. So what happens?? I do nothing. I shut down. Tomorrow I'm home with the girls, and it will take all I have to unpack their suitcases. That is the one goal I have...it's all I can do. One goal, but it's better than nothing. The bright side of tomorrow is our pediatrician appointment. Erin turned one on the 11th, so we get to have her one year check up tomorrow! I'm very excited to see the doctor and talk about my big girl! She's amazing, and she's grown so much in the past couple of weeks. She's mimicking so much of what we do, even mimicking "Hi". She's growling like Emily, and she's trying so hard to walk. She's waving a lot and clapping her hands, and she's just so smiley! I believe the Lord gives me these wonderful things to help counteract the not so wonderful things that I'm dealing with these days. As much as my children stress me out and increase my anxiety level, they also keep me smiling and help me let go.