"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." --Titus 2:3-5

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Prayer

I am too tired to think tonight, too tired to ramble on about my day or thoughts in my mind. I write tonight a prayer that I read last night. This prayer will be my prayer too, though written centuries ago:

"Almighty God, give to Thy servant a meek and gentle spirit that may be slow to anger and easy to mercy and forgiveness. Give me a wise and constant heart, that I may never be moved to an intemperate anger for any injury that is done or offered. Lord, let me ever be courteous, and easy to be entreated; let me never fall into a peevish or cententious spirit, but follow peace with all men; offering forgiveness, inviting them by courtesies, ready to confess my own errors, apt to make amends, and desirous to be reconciled. Let no sickness or cross accident, no employment or weariness make me angry or ungentle and discontented, or unthankful, or uneasy to them that minister to me, but in all things make me like unto the holy Jesus. Amen." --Jeremy Taylor, 1613-1667

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Tonight I finally recorded the events of my pregnancies with my girls. I've wanted to write about them for a while now, and I finally got it done. It always seemed an overwhelming task, but since I didn't write a narrative, it wasn't so bad. I just wanted to get the basics down of the similarities and differences so that when my girls get older they can know what happened (if they even want to know). Plus, my memory isn't as good as I would like it to be, so the documentation is for me as well. I don't want to forget what it was like to be pregnant with them...even the difficulties I faced with both of their labor and deliveries. That's part of their history and the history of what binds us together. Even when I think that I'm doing everything wrong, I'm reminded that I am the only mother they have, and the only true mother that they ever will have. I gave them life...God used me as the vessel to make them from scratch, and I love them more than anyone else in this world. I thought I knew love before I had children, but they have opened my eyes and my heart to what human love can be. I also thought I knew what worry and fear were, but unfortunately, they have opened my eyes to that too! Remembering their beginnings is also helpful on the days when they test my patience to its limit. I am reminded of the blessed joy I felt when I saw them for the first time, and it makes me want to keep them around!

Friday, May 28, 2010

May I be so bold

"My goal is God Himself--not joy, nor peace
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.
'Tis His to lead me there, not mine, but His--
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road!

"So faith bounds forward to its goal in God
And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard,
'Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer.

"No matter if the way be sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost be oft-times great,
He knoweth how I best shall reach the mark--
The way that leads to Him must needs be strait.

"One thing I know, I cannot say Him nay;
One thing I do, I press towards my Lord:
My God my glory here from day to day,
And in the glory there my Great Reward."

--Frederick Brook

Thursday, May 27, 2010

One of Those Days

It's been one of those days when I feel like I have been talking to myself most of the day. Like my head could have popped off of my body and floated away, and no one would have noticed. It amazes me sometimes how much my toddler doesn't listen to me. Sometimes I wonder, has she gone deaf? Am I in a deconstruction zone (physics) where she literally can't hear me? Am I really speaking out loud, or is it just in my head? Lots of questions float through my mind as I plead desperately for her to listen. I feel like I ask the same question over and over, but I also answer the same question over and over. She'll ask a question, and if I don't tend to that particular need in the next nanosecond, she asks again. Sometimes I wish I had a repeat button that I could press so that I wouldn't have to say the same thing over and over again. Funny thing is that I'm sure God feels that way about me sometimes. I ask for things over and over again, meanwhile He's telling me to wait a minute. He knows what I've asked, and He's working on it. It may not be the answer I want, but He always answers. Thankfully, He's a lot more patient with me than I am with Emily. I'm so glad for that! I think I've learned so much more about God since I've become a mom. There is so much similarity between the way I relate to my children and the way He relates to me. I'm sure if any other parent is reading this, they're sighing a big, fat "DUH," but I'm new at all this parenting stuff, and sometimes I'm naive enough to think I have an original thought.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Children are too funny

Oh my Emily! I know better than to leave her alone, but when I found her up in my bedroom she was rubbing her hands together. I didn't notice any open drawers where she would have found my lotion (or "lotions" as she says), but her hands had a very familiar smell. Hmmm, what could it be?? My soy candle! Apparently she had rubbed her little fingers on the soy candle that is on Stephen's nightstand. There were little Emily-sized grooves in the top of the candle. I have to say I'm impressed with her ingenuity! Two year olds can be so resourceful!

A Room of My Own

Why a blog? I consider this a room of my own: my own personal space that I can decorate any way I choose with no extra stress and no extra expense. A place where I can express myself, journal, scrapbook, and maybe inspire or encourage whoever chooses to read it. Being a wife and mother, I don't really have my own room in our home. I also can't be bothered to journal or scrapbook formally because the thought is overwhelming. My husband thinks I should write a book! Talk about overwhelming! First, I wouldn't know what to write about, and second, who would read it? At least with a blog, anyone can read it or not. If someone feels so compelled to read my insignificant little posts, then I welcome them, but if not, then it'll just be for my health and sanity.

Why Titus 2? This is a passage of Scripture that is near and dear to my heart. It expresses exactly who I'm striving to be as a woman, wife, and mother. I'm nowhere near there yet, nor will I be this side of heaven, but it's something that I pursue everyday (some are much better than others). Verses 3-5 state, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." That is who I want to be. It is my heart's desire that I may honor God with the way I live my everyday life. Any of you who know me that are reading this are probably either chuckling or you have a confused look on your face because you know that my life does not measure up to that verse. I know that I'm nowhere near perfect, nor does my life reflect Christ as I would have it, but by the grace of God I keep on truckin'.

So this is my blog...enjoy!